you all know i am a very independent person. I may be a little nervous before I do something, but the feeling afterwards always makes it worth it. with my arrival here i feel like my independence took a back seat...far in the back and I became very dependent. pushing my independence back, even when it was begging me to let it shine a little. I blamed it on 3 things: not knowing my way around a new place, lack of money, and lack of spanish.
But then I started thinking... 1. I didn't know my way around Chicago in the first six months, but that didn't hold me back. The same in LA. I was only there for two months and got on the bus and found my way. Sometimes an adventure, but I did it. In both places I guess I had websites as a resource to use to plan my trip, but here I have plenty of resources/people to ask to get directions. So with this in mind I decided this is not an excuse. 2. I was as frugal as frugal gets before I got my job in LA (sort-of even with my job, but at least I started eating better then). I still hopped on the bus and went wherever I wanted. Sometimes I would just hang around and read and observe and I only spent money on the bus. So that's not an excuse either. 3. I have to say I still consider spanish an excuse, but honestly I just need to get over that. I'm in Mexico. Spanish is the language. I guess at the end of the day that's the reason and I just didn't want to admit it so I blamed it on other things. I also think it's valid to include being tired all the time as an excuse.
When my parents visited last weekend I had to be independent. I had to translate everything for my parents, order for them, etc. Everything that people had been doing for me the whole time I was here. I had to ask questions and if I didn't understand ask more. I had to. I had no choice.
My inner independence got a taste of what it had and it won't let go.
I mean I did a little for my independence like venturing to run alone, finding a new path I liked more, etc. But I was always pushing it back.
While my parents were here they bought me a phone for my birthday present (in addition to them coming to visit...pretty good birthday...I wasn't expecting any more presents besides them coming). Anyways within two days of having the phone (i did ask for the least expensive phone they had and didn't ask any questions) it started turning off on it's own...and often. I figured it would fix itself until it continued through the whole week. So I ventured back to the store Friday and went through all the steps to figure out what was going on. After literally walking out of the store thinking I had my phone fixed (because I'm stupid) I looked at the paper and it turns out I left without repair because I didn't have a guarantee (I think it's the same thing as a warranty). So I left mad (mostly at myself) because I didn't even know to ask more questions. Turns out no matter what culture you're in if you straight out ask if they fixed something for you and the answer is no they're not going to say no. They're going to beat around the bush, which is when I assumed they were telling me they fixed it.
After telling everyone my sad story Isaac offered to come with me and see what we could do, which was nice and I said ok. But then Jess said, "Yeah, you need to take someone who speaks spanish with you." And that was all I needed. The best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can't do it alone. Then... I'm determined. If I had the slightest want to do something if I hear NO I'm going to do it...or at least try.
So Saturday I headed off again with new words and phrases I learned in preparation. Went to the store again first and they said they really couldn't do anything so sent me back to service. So I returned and found the same girl working who helped me the day before, but I didn't get her this time (although she remembered me and kept telling the girl who was helping me what happened...I think it would be very hard to forget someone with such bad spanish). The girl I had was very nice she literally asked everyone there what they could do for me, but at the end of the day it was still nothing. She said I have 2 options...1. Work with Nokia, the makers of the phone or 2. buy a new one. I'm drafting my email to Nokia now.
Then I didn't want to waste my trip to the mall so I went on a search for a scone that i've been craving since my dad and I talked about them sometime during their trip. I started with one place Melissa & Caro recommended looking, earlier in the day. No luck there. So I kept searching.
During my search I walked past a family speaking in English and I wondered how they do here or if the 10 year old girl in the family is already bilingual?
No, I did not find my scone (I swear I went in like 5 stores), but I did find tofu for a not extravagant price that I might be able to afford sometimes.
So I walked home.
No, I didn't get my phone fixed or a scone
BUT
*today we did get Melissa's papers to start working on getting her visa
*i learned some new phrases
*i had a nice walk home
AND
*i'm BACK let that independence shine. I've had enough of pushing it to the background
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