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patience

who knew the word i half-heartedly picked to take with me (i think that´s what it was for) at our orientation retreat would become SO important.
I didn´t really understand what we were doing (the instructions were mostly in spanish), but i picked patience. When I said it Sister Lourdes gave me a look that indicated that wasn´t what she meant. It is becoming more and more apparent I picked just the word I was supposed to.

I originally picked patience pertaining to spanish and it still proves true in that area, but also in many other ways.
I have to be patient with myself as I adjust. I mentioned before I feel tired most of the time. I don´t have the same level of energy or I can, but it´s harder work to muster it up.
I need to be patient when I go to work with Caro and feed the developmentally handicapped. I´m not very comfortable there yet and patience becomes very important. I look at their food, which looks & smells pretty disgusting to me and pretend it looks delicious and look like I´m jealous I don´t get any. Really I would rather not eat it. I look at the huge bowl of food I would not enjoy and just want it to disappear into their stomachs, but I need patience to feed small bites and water by the spoonful.
I need patience while tracing the lesson repeatedly every morning at work.
I need patience while trying to understand the kids when something goes wrong in their lives and they look at me with those ´why won´t you do something eyes´ when honestly i don´t know what really happened.
I need patience when peeling (if that´s what you call it) a pomegranate.
I need patience while trying to find my way around.
And I need patience with Spanish (as I originally intended). From my arrival in Monterrey when I nearly had a breakdown and I went in the bathroom and repeated what Jenn said to me as we said good bye "Be patient with yourself." to hitting my wall everyday in my brain when I don´t want to hear ANY more spanish for the day, but i always do. I need patience while I try to study every night even though my head is already overflowing from the day´s spanish already.

I am generally not made out to be a patient person. I have no problem going with the flow, but I don´t enjoy repetition all the time. I like life (and my food) spicy.
We were driving home from going out with Ricardo last night and I asked to play DJ. I think the girls will never allow me to have that job again because I don´t think I listened to one full song... I kept flipping. I get bored.

Patience.
Everyday.

Comments

  1. I just read Henri Nouwen´s book Compassion, and in it he explained patience and compassion have the same root in suffering. So while you are suffering and building patience you are also building compassion, even if it might not seem like it now. love you and sending you lots of smiles and deep breathes from Peru!

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